Dungeoneers of Awesome

The Kobold Dungeon Part 2
Of Steam and Stabbing

Shortly after killing the Ooze and finding a regeneration pool for FRAC, Wand Sheister was swept up in swirling lights and vanished. The remaining members of the party (FRAC, Nevermore and Zinoviya) weren’t quite sure if that was the norm for Wand, and moved on. They finally came to a set of iron doors marked Kobold claw marks.

They entered the massive room and were greeted by STEAMSPITTOR, a metal, steam-powered, dragon-shaped construct. Recognizing Steamspittor as a creature of similar origin, FRAC immediately attempted to make friends. This greeting was met with a blast of superheated steam to the face. FRAC raged like a 14 year-old in the comments section of a gaming forum and smashed away at it with their massive warhammer. ZInoviya, aided by Nevermore’s motivational skills, used Breath of the White, unleashing a torrent of freezing hell from her face and causing Steamspittor no end of torment. Repeated bashing from the team took the mechanical monster down. As it fell apart, however, the heroes discovered that Steamspittor was not an automaton, but a vehicle, operated by three nasty Kobolds covered in burn blisters.

Once the little boiled bastards were taken care of, the party went through the remains of Steamspittor, finding some small cogs which looked like they may have been created pre-Event, or at least around the same time as FRAC. They also found a set of Sorcerer’s armor, which Zinoviya scooped up and took as her own (as a magic item, it has a slight personality quirk in that it’s addicted to spellcasting).

The dragon they had sought was instead a creation of some mad Kobolds. For what end, nobody knows. They’re Kobolds. They’re batshit crazy.

The party came back to town to speak with Abner Silverbell, who sent them off on the quest in the first place. Tavern keeper Torg Mistletoe, on loan from the Falcongate Inn, broke the news: Abner is dead, killed by Kobolds. The murderers were hunted down by the town guard and taken out. He also let the adventurers know that Goblins and Orcs have been spotted near the south road. Rumor has it they’re on their way to Ulfgrin. It was then that Nevermore noticed that the usual riff-raff weren’t there at the tavern that day. They had been replaced by much quieter clientele.

One of these new folks, after staring at the party for a while, stated “The regulars have gone now. This place is ours. You’d best leave.” Zinoviya stepped out of the tavern for some bread that she had spotted earlier in the window of a shop. Unfortunately, she walked right into the pair of Gnoll assassins that had been waiting outside to ambush the party. The Tiefling didn’t make it back inside until she had three arrows in her torso and a handful of hit points left. FRAC and Nevermore took to the back door to battle one of the Gnolls, while Zinoviya stayed at the front, holding off the other one for as long as possible. The Gnoll proved to be too much for ZInoviya and she was taken down by a pair of very lucky hits from its axe. But down doesn’t mean out, and her unnatural desire for bread sustained her long enough to pop back into consciousness and kill the Gnoll with a well-placed Chaos Bolt. Nevermore worked on healing Zinoviya and chipped away at the other Gnoll until FRAC made Hyena paste out of the would-be killer. The mysterious man who requested they leave went back to his drink.

The bodies of the Gnolls were searched. Other than gold coins, nothing of note was found on them. This worried Nevermore as normally the gangs in town have their symbols tattooed somewhere on their body. These Gnolls had no such indications of any affiliation. They were out-of-towners brought here to do the job.

ZInoviya took her near-death experience as a sign and bought a lot of bread. A LOT of bread.

The Kobold Dungeon, Part 1
Session 01/01/2015

FRAC, Nevermore, Wand Sheister and Zinoviya were hanging around a tavern, when they were approached by Abner Silverbell, an engineer and stoner. He was out scouring the frontier for ancient machinery (a gear here, a bit of brass there), when he saw a massive shape swoop in and steal quite a lot of shiny bits from a scrap yard. He believes a dragon is taking machine parts. For what reason? Who knows? Wand Sheister recognized Abner’s behavior as that of one who enjoys herbal supplements, and provided him with a bit of “The Good Stuff.” Abner was pleased.

They went in the direction instructed by Abner, and came across some ruins. There, Wand Sheister saved them all from a fire trap concealed in some plants. They entered and were assaulted by Kobold Skyclaws, a couple of Kobold Engineers, and Kobold Dogriders. These last few creatures set FRAC off. FRAC and Professor Hurricane turned them into Kobold Paste, and the heroes soldiered on.

They were soon confronted by an Ochre Jelly, which proceeded to split in two and smack the heroes about a bit, until it was finally overcome. FRAC was hurting, and when they discovered a pool of strange, golden liquid, FRAC stepped into it and was restored to full health. They filled some flasks with the Forge Honey and continued on to the next part of their dangerous, underground journey.

Granny Smith and Doctor Jones
iPhun, Relf, and Zinoviya's Underground Romp. 12/30/15

iPhun, Relf, and Zinoviya were hired by Nikolas and his nameless, eccentric son to make sure his Grandmother’s tomb was secured. Kobold raids have been on the rise and they’ve been spotted near the town. After making Nikolas give them his lovely fur coat as a down payment, iPhun, Relf, and Zinoviya agreed to take the gig.


The three heroes set off to the ruins where Grandma had requested to be buried. When they arrived, they were ambushed by a circus of Kobold Skyclaws. Luckily, the little winged bastards managed to blow themselves up before any real harm was done to the party.

Once the battle was over, the heroes discovered two tombs: one marked “Smith” and the other marked “Jones.” It was at that point they realized they forgot to ask Nikolas his last name. The ""Smith" tomb contained a casket with a rotted corpse in it, but the “Jones” tomb had a secret passage that led into some underground tunnels. Following their instincts they went down into the dungeon and encountered three undead soldiers. Much gauntlet-slapping later, they found a +1 Greataxe of Abandon, which Zinoviya kept for herself. She promised iPhun the axe, but has yet to deliver on that.

Around the corner, they met a human named Chappy. He thanked them for saving him and insisted on coming along with them to find the treasure. He turned out to be kind of a douchenozzle and a fight broke out.


They quickly dispatched the buffoon and discovered a map to the dungeon and a wanted poster with Chappy’s face on it.

They continued on, encountering Wibbles, giant spiders, and a Spider-Mage. It was a hard-won battle, exhausting the team, but they found a bit of gold and returned to Nikolas to let him know that his Granny Smith’s body was now safe.

Up your Mountain
A Solo Adventure with Zinoviya

On her way to Falcondale, Zinoviya had heard of a treasure in the Drakestone mountains. Her searching brought her to the Hempen Slanket, a tavern in Vintarrol. Her contact there provided her with information about a secret entrance into the depths of the mountain where treasure beyond imagining is just waiting for the right person.

When she reached the cave entrance, Zinoviya was ambushed by thugs and managed to kill them before seeing her contact escaping into the distance.

If anyone sees an old man in heavy black armor with gold trim, Zinoviya wants to hear about it.

The Story so far


It all started with the End of the World.

About 500 years ago, a cataclysm tore reality apart and shattered The World. Nobody knows exactly what it was or how it happened, but it turned everything inside out. Civilization was cast in ruin, strange aberrations ran amok, and, the term “clusterfuck” was coined.

The year is now 515 AE, or “After Event.” The World has gotten itself back up on its feet over the last half-millennium and begun to stretch out again. Luckily, some pre-event knowledge has gotten them much farther than they would have been had they started from scratch. Magic and pre-event technology have been reintroduced and re-integrated into society over the past few centuries, though not always in the way they were originally intended. One or two larger cities are rumored to be able to harness magic to provide light and heat to their people, and propel them on rails as a mode of transport. But that’s a long way from where we’re starting. Half a world, in fact. And that’s pretty much as far as you can get (if you assume this world is round).

As civilization pushes out into the frontier, more and more hints of the Pre-Event world are being uncovered. The magic is older and harder to master. The knowledge is deeper and stranger.

Sitting on the edge of this frontier is the town of Falcondale. Not as cosmopolitan as Goldenhelm or Anashar, but it is definitely bustling. Archaeologists, adventurers, and treasure-seekers come from all over to call Falcondale their home. From the Falconwood to Nightshadow Marsh, the world outside Falcondale is rich with ancient tombs, deserted ruins and abandoned mines. Of course, it is also fraught with trouser-filling terrors the likes of which no one has seen in centuries.

Doomsayers fear another Event is on the horizon. Others fear the possibility of Orcs and Goblins amassing at Ulfgrin. And rumors have come down from The North that Dragons have begun to openly attack. It’s a dangerous, exciting time. Or as some call it, “the Eve of the Clusterfuck.”


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